ruffledheart

Maintumaurishq

Mood kharab hai bht.. Headache is worsening it.. Mood kya .. bas mann dukhi hai.. Hai kuch nahi.. Bas wahi Annoying batein sasuraalon ki.. Nonsensical issues.. And in sab me mera fasna hamesha.. Un logon ko bhi poocho jo mujhe nahi poochte..jinhen koi matlab nahi mujhse..  Self Respect ki dhajjiyan udaye baithi hun.. sala har bar.. yahi hota hai mere sath.. Pata nahi kya kami hai.. kismat me hi hai waise to..  Feel like running away from all this.. alone somewhere.. akele rahun kuch waqt .. aram se.. apna kaam karun..  Bht se bht bas bache sath ho.. BAS.. Ye pati nahi jo tattu Beta hai..  Unke isharon pe nachne wala puppet. Feel filthy inside..

jitni batein htonhai na peeche se..  Samne aane pe sab bhool si jati hain...

Scree swapping mushkil nahi.. na hi folder kholna.. Safe option ianoblg if the app is locked along with no chat.. Bas baat itni si hai.. Ki mera bhi mann shant rahe.. poori tarah

Haan.. Ab unki ho gayi.. Dil me to ho tum.. hamesha rahoge..jab tak hun .. Tumhari ho sakti thi.. Hamesha ke liye.. Khair chalo ab kya sochna ye.. Par tumhara is tarah ki batein.. mil nahi sakti .. sath khadi nahi ho sakti..gussa dilata hai..dil dukhaata hai mera.. Ki jab khade hona tha tab kahan the.. tab ho jate sath khade ek baar himmat karke.. Aur nahi, to ab chalo theek hai sab manjoor.. par aise to mat blame kiya karo har baat pe mujhe.. Meri kya galti hai.. Sirf ye shayad ki khud se jada pyar kiya tumse.. Tumse to bht bht jada kiya.. Utna kabhi nahi hoga tumhe 

Tumhe kabhi nahi padi thi.. Tum apne me rehte ho.. Aur main khumari si me.. aj bhi.. subah uthate nashta banate lagta hai.. kya khaya hoga tumne.. kab gaye honge office.. office me hi honge ya site par.. Lunch ke liye ghar jate ho ya office me karte ho..  Kabhi sochte ho din me mere liye ? Ghar jate hue lagta to hoga kabhi..shayad FM pe hi kuch gana sunkar ki mujhe call ya msg karke haal poochh lete.. Lekin nahi.. Aisa kuch nahi hai tumhare sath.. Tum apne me mast ho.. Hamesha se.. Apni EGO me doobe.. Main CHUTIYA hun.. Hamesha se thi.. Aj bhi hun.. Apna kaam .. concentration hi nahi hai mera uspe.. Tumne kabhi kiya hi nahi itna ....  Kya likhun ab Jao yar

Main khali ?  Haan haan.. Bilkul khali hun main to.. Baat karte to pata chalta.. kitni khali hun.. Subah 6:30-7 bed chod ke, raat 12 baje bed pe aa pati hun..apne mil pata hai.. Itni khali hun.. Aur din ka routine to is tarah likha nahi ja sakta ..

Na khair khabar na haal chaal.. Khali baitho bhale.. Par baat nahi karna..

..Have loved you more than i loved myself, since always.. till forever.. Despite of all , have never asked you to be Alongside, not even for once had i asked for any commitment.. एक बार ज़िद्द तो कर सकती थी..  इतना हक था मुझे.. पर एक बार भी नहीं बोला.. सब समझा .. हमेशा  और आज इस मोड़ पे आकर.. बार बार यही बात कहना.. जब भी कभी बात हो.. दिल दुखता है मेरा.. और क्यूं नहीं दुखेगा बताओ.. और केहनी क्यूं.. सच को क्या बार बार दोहराना ..

इज्ज़त मसलते हैं हमारी और  प्यार है तुमसे कहकर  पुचकारते हैं ज़िद्द अपनी चलाते हैं हमे ज़िद्दी बुलाते हैं मिल ना सकें हैं उमर भर को अब बस एक बार  के लिए छटपटाते हैं एहसासों से परे  शब्दों में उलझे से हैं अब भी पैनी नोक गहराइयों तक चुभाते हैं रूठते हैं मनाते नहीं हर बार हमपे ही निशाना साधते हैं जिन शब्दों में गुम हो बाहर आओ जनाब  ये धागे वो है जो एहसास बांधते है और तुम वो हो हम वो हैं जो दिल और धड़कन आपस में फुंफकारते हैं

Meri ruh me samayi hai teri khushbu.. Log kehte hain tera Itr Lajawab hai... 

It melted thousand Suns down her throat just by hearing the phrase ,"i won't be able to make a call.." His voice was as soothing to her as water to the one yearning for it since quite long. The Doctor warned her of becoming frail due to lack of hydration. Her heart wept hard, she could no way explain to the Doctor that her ocean was too far to dampen her parched soul... #rumination

Kal yun hi khangaalne ki soche mann ko Tasavvur najar hi na aya tumhara Chownk ke poocha maine dil se, vo bola ye sab gehraiyon ka fareb hai.. Par mujhe na hua gavaara.. Yakeen nahi hua, intezar to pakka tha mera, Fir kiun nahi aayi koi Awaaz socha jo door hai door hokar bhi kareeb hai.. Reham kar ab ae dil aur BandaNawaj...

Darr hai in gardishon me kalam ki siyaahi na sookh jae kahin.. Yahan se mud ke nayi naa la pae to afsos badh jaega..

Bhula ke us bigde-dhundle tasavvur ko chala hun ab us shaksiyat ki taraf, jise mujhse pehle mere haal ka ehsaas ho jae..

For you never came up to put any bandage to it..  And how could you? You are the one who brought it to raze.. My heart and soul had been put under several knives and you are the one for its bleeding. I wish I could revert back to you the same way. Thrash you with the worst of all. I wish to get you one platter of delicacies of immense pain. And bound you to have it. Where the pain rises with every bite that you eat. A platter that doubles up its delicacies the moment you are about to finish them. The harder it is to finish, the double it throws on you. And you get ni choice. I want you to scream in pain. Pain of hurt,  separation, longing, crave.. When I stand at a distance and you beckon,  and I don't seem bothered by your call. When you cry loud and I don't seem to hear any noise. Cry hard,  as hard as you wanted to hold me the other time. Scream the loudest,  as loud as you shrieked on me to admit my emotions to you the other time. Long now..  Lo...

😁 the last of replies was hilarious.. 4:45 in the morning with a cup of tea and just me, i went through shuffling at fb's eatlo community and saw a post by a lady of her dinner, which said,  Egg Noodles 🍜 Yeah... 🙄 Remember..? No..? Alliance Francais.. Cafeteria.. ☺️ Sometimes,  I feel it's all gone; long gone away.. The time, the scenario changed at a fast pace. And it would never be at that end. But,  what bewilders me is that memories are never vague. Their impressions never fade. The tinge of hues that they render,  remains the same..  The colors never seem to lighten, infact, the ink gets darken with the passage of time. How..? What an amazing expression the creator had come up with..  ☺️ One never forgets anything that had had ever happened to them.. Good,  bad,  ugly. The brains are supposed to function the particular way, as instructed by the creator. It is only that we get used ...

Baat us daur ki hai jab tum-hum sath hue.. Gulabi sehar huin aur hum bhi gule-gulzar hue.. Samay ki karvat se aisa hua sama.. Gulabo ke rang ude aur chaman bikhare uzaad hue

It got bruised long back when I first met you. I thought it would all be hunky dory. But..  To no one's big eyes expression.. You and I never shared anything relatable,  yet we found solace in each other's company sharing our joys,  sorrows,  fears of present that lead to our future; The studies that kept us busy, the degrees that kept us awake.. And for what not. More from the emotions that held us together,  the bond of friendship established itself so strong and we hadn't even had a glimpse of it. It was Intimidating at times to ask you to be on phone. There were pleadings from my end which led only to bickering and nothing else. Pleads to speak over the call and bickering to 'Only' meet - up and no talks. It had always been difficult but you know what was cumbersome.. to get you back on the right note. You never seemed bothered much about anything that troubled me extensively. Nothing could clutch your heart. None of the sentiments could ever turn you ...